Day 331

Well, it's a new phase here on Tallil. This afternoon I moved into a tent with 12 of my newest best friends. Army cots and close quarters. At least the air conditioner kind of works. Best part; we have wireless internet here, so I'll be able to stay in touch. Well, maybe the best part is that my replacement arrives the day after tomorrow and I leave next month. I cleared out of my room, as my room mate is in the States having back surgery. He and I did Skype text today and he's doing fine. Says he feels like he was kicked by a mule, and I believe it. Surgery to repair two herniated disks can't be fun. I'm into 20-something days left before I leave this place. That's 20-something too many. I tell you, the days are flying by. I purposly don't count the days, as it seems to make time slow down, and when somebody tells me how many days we have left, I am always suprised, and pleasently so. Other than the swine flu, there is a nasty bug going around. Respritory, ear and sinus infections are common. We had a guy here who, a few months ago, had eye pain and then he couldn't see out of one eye. After very close examination, it was determined that a parasite got into his eyeball and then worked its way out. As it ate its way out, through layer after layer of eyeball, all of the fluid between those layers leaked out. Last I heard they were having some luck restoring some of his eyesight. Nobody's really sure how it got in there to begin with. The best guess is that, during one of the frequent sand storms we have here, it got lodged where it shouldn't have. I know, kind of gross, but I wanted to remind you that where we're living is really dirty and disgusting, as if I haven't mentioned it already.

Day 328

I got my two boxes loaded into the conex this morning. My room mates stuff is waiting for somebody else to load it, tomorrow, and there's tons of space in my room now. Too bad I have to move out in three days. Ah, Army cots and no privacy. Just what the doctor ordered. But, moving to the tents means we're just about out of here. Three weeks in a tent and then on a plane. I feel as though we're coming to that last bend in the tunnel, where we know we'll be able to see the light at the far end. Just in case I can't get back on the internet for a while, I wanted to say thank you to all of you who took the time to write, send packages, shoot me an email, or call on Skype. I've always prided myself on the fact that I don't own a cell phone, but I don't know how old guys in WWII did it without constant communication. Knowing that you all are out there, only a few keystrokes away, helped me through some bad days. Thank you. On a happy note, I lost better tha 30 pounds on this trip, and I exercised only when I had to and ate junk food all of the time. I hate playing 'what ifs', but imagine the lean, green, fighting machine I might have become if I had actually, you know, tried.
In a previous post I told you all it was ok to give me a dope slap, one apiece, for trying to stay an additional 6 months. I need all you all to give me repeated slaps up along side the head every time you hear me start any sentence with, "Well, when I was in Iraq, we did it this way." Don't let me get away with it. I see it too many times in others and I'm sure I'll be one of them for a while. Stop the horse before it gets out the starting gate. Squish that bug before it crawls. Pull the tail off of that gecko before it runs away. Drain the gas tank before you put in the key. Make the bed before you get out. Whip the yolks before you put in the cheese. Put a cork in the bottle before the genie gets out. Look both was before crossing the, oh wait, that's not right. Rewind the tape before returning it to the store. Click on the start button to power off. Don't mix salt and pepper in the same jar, no matter how smart it sounded in your head. If you're going to give a guy a swirly, make sure he's got hair. First rule of government spending; why build one when you can build two for twice the price. Ok, it's bed time.

Day 327

Tomorrow morning we start packing our personal gear into the conex for the slow boat ride home. Up at 2 o'clock in the blessed a-m to get to bed about 7 pm every night. We're trying to beat the heat, but this week is a monster. It's over 100 degress by 9 every morning and only gets hotter as the day goes on. We contacted the medics and they'll be at our work site at 7 or 8 each morning with bags of saline to rehydrate us the hard way. Well, it's not the hardest way, since water can be absorbed through the colon. Butt, all things considered, I think I'd rather take a short needle in the arm than a short arm in the ...
For me it is just after 6 pm on Sunday the 23rd. On Thursday the 27th we move out of our lovely metal accomodations and into the tents. Ah, tent life. It's been nice living all alone since my room mate was sent home for back surgery. Ain't no cats around my house. Three weeks in a tent here, three days in a tent in Kuwait, barracks in Ft. McCoy, and then to Fort Living Room. Yeah; I can handle that PSC move.
The pills they gave me for my cough have a strange affect on me. First, I feel slightly doped up and drowsy. The other I think is a diaretic. I'm in the middle of the freaking desert. Do I really need to get up every 45 minutes and pee? I mean, really?!
I am beginning to notice that my fond memories of home are becoming more specific. My most reuccuring memory is from when I was on leave from Ft. Lewis, back in November 2008. I flew to Sacramento to hang with my sister for my leave, to get caught up and do brother-sister stuff. I got off of the plane and headed for baggage claim. I got on the escalator to take me to the ground floor. Standing just to the right and at the bottom of the stairs, back from them about 15 feet, was my sister. Seeing her there and and then being able to hug is the best happy memory I have of this entire deployment. One strange image I can't shake is; I'm standing on the street corner in Bismarck, at the intersection of Ninth and Main, right next to the State Bank building. I'm looking over the underpass at the Civic Center. It appears to be comforting. Why? Maybe it's because I paid my student loans off a few years ago and the building doesn't bother me. Another image I have, and this one is more pleasant, is that I am sitting at the horseshoe bar at Whitey's in East Grand Forks, MN. There is a LARGE, COLD glass of what I can only assume is HoneyWeiss sitting slightly to the left of the view, a bottle of ketchup sitting slightly to the right of the view, a white linen napkin to the right and just off-center of the view, and in the middle, on a white plate, is my order of Whitey's Homemade Onion Rings. Real plates and silverware. Real Ketchup. The best part is, for me to be there, I won't be here.

Day 324

It's been a wild and crazy month at this end of world. We're about a month away from leaving and supply is just a little bit busy. We're on a 12-hour work schedule which I have yet to see. My days have been a bit longer than that by a few hours. On the bright side, I developed a virual thingy and am on quarters for 24 hours. That and a pocketful of pills, and I should feel right as rain. There is an outbreak of swine flu here, so as a precaution I had a Q-Tip swab up my nose (great fun), and luckily the test came back negative. If it had been positive, I'd be living in a tent with those stricken with swine flu, for a week. Can't say I see the downside of that. No phone, no email, no customers. Just sleep. That and all the symptoms that go with the flu. I have discovered a new smell in Iraq. It took me a while to identify its source and came as a bit of a shock when I finally made the discovery. It is a stinky, sweaty, disguisting odor that is offensive to olfactory senses. My helmet has its own odor. Helmets of old had a leather strap which rested on your head to keep it in place. These new ones have multiple pads, like a football helmet, which help to distribute the weight more evenly. The pads are held in place with velcro, and are adjustable so they can be made to be more comfortable for each persons head. They also soak up the sweat that runs off my shaved head. The chin-strap is a cloth material which also soaks up the sweat that runs off my shaved head. Add to that the dirt and sand and dust which has collected in each pore of the fabric in the last 10 months, and you one stinky hunk of kevlar. We all have one set of replacement pads, but there's no point in using them here. They'll just get as stinky before we leave. The pads don't hold up to a washing, so we're stuck with using really stinky helmets.
On a happy note, my replacement arrivs next week. We'll be in tents about the middle of next week, just waiting for our plane ride home. All of our replacements know their job, but we need to spend two weeks training them in on 'what's here and what's there and how to handle this office and who needs coffee and dognuts before they'll help you' type of things. My boss and I figure that about the 10th or so of September we'll be spending most of our time in the tent, playing cards and watching movies. I can't tell you when we're supposed to be leaving this hell-hole, but if you Google "National Talk Like A Pirate Day", that's the day. Three days in Kuwait and then five days in Ft. McCoy, and then surgery for me. For those who don't know, my Dad has had several surgeries in the last month. I'm going to ask for leave to see him before I have them cut into my kneee, so with any luck, they'll give me a week off so I can see him, and hopefully make a round-robin and say hi before they cut into me.
There's no internet in the tenst, but I will do my best to keep on posting from the MWR center. I'll be able to get emails, so don't quit emailing me.
On the bright side, in about a month I'll leave this place and never have to come back.

Day 307

Well, we are almost there. People are gretting one another with, "We leave next month." I do my best not to count down the days until departure, as it seems to make time drag by. I am enjoying my purchase of my iPod Touch. I have only a few more weeks in my room, and then it is off to a tent to make room for our replacements. There is no internet in the tent. Before we move, I'd like to download another application or two from iTunes. Does anybody have any suggestions? I have downloaded books, a good version of Gin Rummy, Cribbage, Bejeweled and most recently, Backgammon. I've got some time at night, so if anybody has any suggestions, please let me know. The iPod is great. I can't wait to get back to the land of wireless internet so I can use it better. Oh, Kevin, when I get out to the Stanley area, break out the board, as it's game-on! I've been sharpening my skills. How are yours after all these years?
If any of you still have a box or envelope to send to me, please don't. It takes some letters and most packages 5 to 6 weeks to reach me, and it's about that long until I leave natures litterbox. I'd hate to have you send something I never receive.
I saw a cat with a kitten the other day, so somebody here isn't doing their part, those selfish cat lovers. We are all concentrating on getting out of here, so there's really not all that much which is new, to say. Sandstorms suck; heat sucks; sandstorms and heat combined really suck. Although I have been fortunate in one area; in my entire time here, I have yet to see one snake, scorpion or camel spider. Lizards are everywhere as are these mangy dogs which resemble coyotes. I have seen a couple of rabbits. They've got these really long, straight ears. It appears as they're trying to pick up FM on those things.